Come on, express yourself!

The other day I was talking about someone who had pissed me off and who - to be perfectly frank - rightfully deserved the verbal lashing I was handing out. It was witty and snarky and cathartic and made me feel so much better - until I thought about how I had started the conversation.

"I hate to be a bitch, but..."

Wait, what? I "hate" to be a bitch? Didn't this person, who super pissed me off and was a total jerk, deserve to accept the wrath of my inner bitch? If they're simply a horrible human being, shouldn't I feel somewhat confident in making whatever comment I want without feeling the need to set myself up as a good person?

Short answer? Uh, yeah.

Why is it that whenever we feel the need to make a comment Jesus might not approve of, we're always so quick to frame that comment in a way that makes it seem like "hey, I don't say this often because I'm a really nice, compassionate, forgiving person, but...". Why, when we're mad and we DESERVE to be mad, can't we just feel comfortable saying it?

In essence, what's so wrong with being a bitch?

So next time someone pisses me off here's the process.
1) Take a deep breath. 
2) Calm down
3) Slap them in the mouth

Working out is not working out

This is me. Lately working out has been the absolute last thing I want to do. I set my alarm to go to pilates...and I hit snooze for 90 minutes. I tell myself I'll go after work...and I eat multiple bowls of cereal and watch Gilmore Girls reruns (while consciously not doing my homework). I say I'll go on the weekend...and I drink to much coffee and have "errands" to run (you know, like going to Target).

Well, no more! This is it, this is the day! A new leaf has been turned over, a fresh start is in the fridge, a clear horizon is on...the horizon.

So I plan on starting Tuesday, because I'm in Charlotte for work now and I have a midterm coming up Monday and have to study all weekend and the Cubs aren't in the playoffs and blah blah blah...I'll start someday.

Ruts and stuff

Sometimes I forget all the super excellent things there are to do in this city. I get stuck in a rut and eat only at El Tapitio, Village Tap and Waterhouse, buy my groceries at Walgreens and get my coffee at Starbucks. Because I get lazy, I disregard all the wonderful things there are to do in this city and just choose what's easiest. However, this weekend, thanks to my fabulous friends, I got out of my rut.

Saturday night, the boys went off and did a "Beer and Bacon" tasting (yeah, seriously), while Lauren, Kim, Amanda and I had a ladies night. We tested out Purple Pig (downtown, tapas, good pork shoulder and squash) and then brought bottles of wine over to Millenium Park and sat on the lawn listening to Jewel close out the Chicago Country Music Festival. We made our way through three bottles, watched the fireworks over the lake and then went back to Amanda's to have (more) wine and whiskey on her balcony and smoke cigars. Okay, the guys did the last part, but I had a puff, so it counts.

Sunday we visited a new bar, Ten Cat Tavern, which was a kitschy combination of grandma's house, the Bulldog Inn and any townie bar in Kansas. It had free wi-fi, so Kim helped me with homework while we sat in the back patio and drank. Beer + homework = A+.

So I got out of my rut for the weekend. I think I need to make sure I spend at least one night a week somewhere new, doing something I haven't done before. The beauty of this city is in the layers of opportunity. I need to be daring and take a closer look.

Group Love

One of the hardest things I always found about school was trying to do group projects. It's not that I don't like working with others (totally untrue, this is a lie I tell myself because I'm supposed to enjoy it), but coordinating schedules for nine people who work full-time is frustrating and a little impossible. Regardless, we managed to get six of us to the library last night to finish what sounded like an easy, 20 minute project.

It was certainly easy. It did not take 20 minutes.

The name of this class is Organizational Behavior. The structure of this class is the exact opposite of organized. It's completely ambiguous, with no direction or concrete assignments. We literally spent an hour trying to figure out what exactly the assignment was, since the directions online, in the book and on the syllabus all contradicted each other. Do you think the professor responds to emails in a timely fashion? If you guessed no, then you're CORRECT!

One of my favorite cliches is "Misery Loves Company". I'm not miserable in this class, but I'm utterly annoyed. I was thrilled to learn last night that everyone else is also annoyed, so I feel happy to report that this is a case of "Utterly Annoyed Loves Company".

School days (daze)

So school is in full swing and I'm officially a learner again. After just a few weeks in class, I've come to a realization - I never tried all that hard to get good grades. School always just came easily to me, I was one of those (very lucky) kids who could skate by with A's, doing just the bare minimum. I wasn't a great studier, because I didn't have to be. My idea of studying hard was laying on my bed, alternating between sighing loudly and taking breaks to watch reruns of Boy Meets World. Yeah. That's a true confession.

Fast forward to Grad School.

It is increasingly apparent that I can't get by with doing the bare minimum anymore. The amount of work is slightly crushing and the expectations to excel are incredibly high (from both my professors and myself). And I now find myself thinking back to all the times I spent skating through classes and I feel a need to slap myself upside the head. Why in the world did I not take advantage of everything I had in front of me? All the excellent teachers and professors, the interesting classes, the great school supplies Mom used to buy me...I'm disappointed in myself. I could have done better.

The good news is, I find everything interesting and applicable, which makes studying and sitting in class so much easier. The bad news is, I have no life, and will have no life, for the next two years. I was warned of this, so I can't complain. But I will anyways, because that's what I do.

overload

I heart technology. Seriously. I heart my Droid, my laptop, my Blackberry and most of all, my DVR.

However, I do not heart the fact that I have 7 different screenames/email accounts, multiple social networking profiles, an online investment portfolio and a few insurance websites...the majority of which I do not remember the usernames or passwords to.

I still carry around a paper day planner. You would think I would write all this down in there, but I do not.

I am overloaded. Someday when I win the lottery I'm going to get rid of all of the above and live free of all these fabulous devices that increase productivity and maintain sanity.

Except for my DVR though, because rewinding and rewatching episodes of the Vampire Diaries is a pastime I refuse to give up.

chapter: right now

Now seems as good a time as any to jump back into the world of blogging (feet first, mind you). Tomorrow begins the first of several big changes - a new job. Scary, exhilarating, time-consuming and panic-inducing, which are all good/interesting things. Following right on the heels of new job, comes new graduate student. Fairly positive I do not remember how to actually be a student, but since I learned to ride a bicycle again, I'm hoping this returns as well, otherwise I will be calling my eighth grade sister for advice.

Long story short, change is fun. It keeps you on your toes and makes life worth living...so here I go, embracing it with everything I've got.

Coffee will be required.